What is religion to me, and whats a relationship with God

 First of all... I hate religion with a passion. Its man made, full of hypocrisy, and is used to make money, money that causes even more problems with the church. 

A man who makes millions of dollars preaching each year should be ashamed of himself.  All the money those people are giving to a church should be used to feed the hungry, clothe the poor, and take care of the widows/widowers. That's scriptural, look it up.  Just imagine if all those millions, possibly billions of dollars were used in our communities what a difference our world would look like? Instead they use it to buy mansions, fancy cars, jets, and thousand dollar suits to appear holy. Guess what...God could care how great your external appearance is. He looks on the heart of man. 

If God looks on the heart, then that means He cares about having a relationship with us. If He looks on the heart, then that means He wants us to love Him, and He us. When you have a relationship with someone, you communicate, trust, honor,  respect, and love the person you're in a relationship with.  The old saying "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" comes to mind. If you only look on the outside you may see beauty. Imagine if you could see as God does. How beautiful would most people be?

I've had the church destroy me emotionally.  

I was speaking all over the midwest at youth conferences, when I accidentally allowed to much to come out of my mouth, giving to much detailed information. I get back home, and my Pastor calls for a meeting with the staff. He says "you are welcome here, but you're not allowed to minister, or lead in any way. Your past is to violent." I also lost all the future speaking engagements I had booked for the next year. I was immediately treated as if I had the plague from the congregation. Which means our conversation within the Pastors office wasn't kept private. I never went back.

"Christian's ruin Christianity"... yes I said it.  They think their better than others. They shut people who they consider sinful, and not up to their standards. Wealthy people who give the most in the offering plate, get welcomed to everything, while the others, get pushed to the side. The homeless are shunned. The addicts aren't understood, and gossiped about. They place levels of sin that's acceptable, and ones that are not. Problem with that is... God says sin is sin...he's not a respecter of man. A lie is as bad as murder in His eyes. 

Anything that involves man, is going to be screwed up. I know churches that have split because of the color of the carpeting. Swear its the truth.

That's why I choose to have a relationship with God, and not be a religious person. I choose to speak with all walks of life, listening to their souls speak, not their mouths. 

I honestly don't believe that if Jesus was walking the earth in 2020, He'd be sitting in some mega church. I think He'd be down in the trenches telling the world about His Father.

In His Grip,

Foster 

Let's talk about life for a minute.

 My whole life has been like many other's...painful, abusive, addicted, and hard as hell.

The things I have endured mean no more, or no less than others. I DO NOT compare life stories. Reason being, we all are effected by situations differently. What may be traumatic to you, may be a small thing to me; and what may shake my worlds to the ground, you may brush off of yourself like nothing's happened.

As an addict, and a victim of sexual, emotional, and physical abuse...I honestly can say I've struggled all my life to find out who I am.

I've been in rehab at least 4 times, and never found the 12 steps to help. I am speaking only for me. It's worked for numerous amounts of people, including family members. I'd rather not have to answer to those that think I'm bashing AA or NA. That's not what I mean, and I won't defend myself to something, that I've already stated. I think both programs are wonderful.

When I was a small boy, I wanted to be a biker or a preacher. I found that even though I had a twisted view of what God is, or who He was supposed to be in my life. They always said "speak to Him as if He was your Father." Well every Father I've ever had abused me, molested me, and treated me like a piece of garbage, except my "Dad" who was my last step-dad, and I consider the only Dad I ever had.

Its hard to perceive God as a Dad if you've had a terrible childhood. It's hard to not feel like His love is like the rest of theirs; conditional, based on performance.

I'm learning that I don't have to perform for God. He knows I'm going to fail. He knows that I sin, He doesnt want me to, and wants me to try not to. He does know however that I'm going to. What He expects of me is a relationship with Him. He wants me to talk to Him, trust in Him, and tell others about Him. I also have to believe that He sent His son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for my sins, and on the 3rd day was resurrected. I also believe in the Holy Spirit. The trinity. 

I look at God as my creator, and my savior. I also look at Him as the only person I can trust with my deepest darkest secrets. Right, or wrong... I still tell Him. 

Life it's a bag of crap sometimes because evil people do evil things. I choose to take those evil things, and speak life into others.

In His Grip,

Foster